


aftermaths

by incacola



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: AU where kravitz doesn't exist i'm SORRY, Denial of Feelings, Drunk Kisses, M/M, One Shot, Pining, Post-Canon, Sappy Ending, Sort Of, lies to protect said feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-05-31 18:05:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19431289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/incacola/pseuds/incacola
Summary: "So is it worth it for you?" he asks Magnus, their hands floating between them. "Remembering everything? Only to find it leaves more questions than answers?"A soft breeze brushes past them. Magnus just feels so empty. He's willing to let anything fill that space just now.The muffled blows of fireworks from below sound like corn popping."I don't think I know," Magnus says quietly.-Or: a drunken kiss reveals more than drunken feelings.





	aftermaths

**Author's Note:**

  * For [my number #1 hater: ari @sharpneon that's for flipping me off the bus bitch](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=my+number+%231+hater%3A+ari+%40sharpneon+that%27s+for+flipping+me+off+the+bus+bitch).



> hooo boy. i have literally no excuse for this other than i randomly fell into a taagnus pit that i am trying to write my way out of. i've never written before for TAZ so i find it kind of funny my first fic for balance is - you know - for a pairing i don't even really ship in canon. and that's another thing - i'm the sluttiest slut for taakitz but i also kind of adore taako and magnus in fanon, friendship or otherwise. take that as what you will! this will probably be my one and only taagnus fic, but i certainly hope it's not going to be my last TAZ fic.  
> so. now that that's out of the way, bls enjoy this impulsive one-shot! i would give commenters and kudos-ers the moon, and that other fake secret base moon as well. if you want to find me elsewhere, my tumblr is @jewno! asks there are also very welcome. *taako voice* pEace!

The Bureau of Balance's grassy campus is illuminated with bursts of blunt light – green, red, blue, yellow, red again. It wasn't too long ago that they defeated the evil that has been hunting them for a hundred years of which they only recently (re)learned about, but it only takes the dust of the battle settling back on the ground for the people of Faerun to begin celebrating the victory.

The fireworks surround Magnus when they're high enough, explosions so close he can smell the burnt gunpowder, but for most of them he can only see their light spilling over everything for a moment, or maybe catch their warped reflection on one of the domes. The moonbase is too high up to participate in the people's party – to which the Bureau responds by holding their own, high above the world, the weirdest office party Magnus has ever attended to.

At first, he doesn't drink – he feels, though he's a little ashamed to admit it, that it's too soon to celebrate anything. The battle was won, but they have lost so much fighting it – people fighting against the Hunger, people lost to the Relic wars, people who have been forgotten and remembered again, whole towns destroyed. Magnus feels selfish celebrating it, and foolish, and something else, too, something he can't quite place that moves him from refusing every drink politely to chugging them from whoever is giving them away.

Magnus mulls it over while whirling an amber liquid in a low, wide glass in his hand. With every drink he downs, that feeling grows in the pit of his stomach, like the liquor burning its way down his throat, only after the third drink Magnus can't feel the sting of the alcohol, and the bitter, all-encompassing  _ thing _ he feels is all he has left.

Like drinking on an empty stomach.  _ Empty _ . Red fills the sky for a moment and Magnus finishes what little he has left in his glass before setting it aside. That's how he feels. One drink to the next, one mission to the next, and Magnus has no idea what he's doing now. He has a bitter taste in his mouth. Where does he go now? Who does he rush in to save? What will give him direction in this directionless place?

As it turns out, Taako is the answer to that, at least temporarily. He's holding a tall glass of bubbling champagne that Magnus suspects is enlaced with some of Pringles' potions (which Magnus is a strong advocate  _ against _ ) because the way he carries himself is less elegant and smooth and more tripping over the bed of grass and falling on his ass with his back against the base of one of the domes, landing right next to Magnus. Part of the champagne spills between them over a patch of unlucky grass blades to which Taako just  _ 'Son of a bitch _ 's dryly.

Magnus follows his silhouette in the colorful blasts of light. His long blond braid has strands shooting out of it from all directions, some covering his forehead, some sticking to his lips and the – is that lipgloss? – that is only slightly smeared around them.

"Well, don't look so marveled at my presence," Taako says, and Magnus thinks he might sound more sarcastic if he weren't so tipsy.

"You're just not… one to hang back at parties," he tells Taako, and thinks he might sound more sincere if he weren't so – well, drunk is a heavy word for what he is.

Taako stifles a laugh. "Magnus, my man, look around. Do you think this resembles my scene in any way, shape or form?"

Magnus looks. The crowd has dwindled down since he last bothered to check, but there is still the far-away sound of a warm harmonica melody and fireworks still leave their soft light occasionally on the campus. Avi is standing across the yard, and he is talking to Davenport about something that Davenport seems very interested in, in contrast to an indifferent Avi, seeing as Davenport nods every few seconds.

Taako is now looking at them, too. "Look at him, Maggie – we didn't even recognize our Captain, as in, the person who flew us in and out of everywhere – like, the one competent crewmember on our team who  _ didn't _ fuck us over royally."

Magnus doesn't answer. He looks ahead quietly, eyes half-lidded, forearms leaning on his knees.

"Do you ever feel like it's still not enough?" he asks eventually. "Remembering everything. Like… there's a space that's still there, even after the Voidfish told you everything?"

Taako raised a brow in that ridiculous smirk of his. "If you're implying you think there's a third Voidfish I think you'll find that that Deus Ex Machina cow has been milked dry, as in completely –"

"No, not that kind of void," Magnus rejects. "The non-magical kind. You know, the real kind."

"The real kind, huh?" Taako muses, almost to himself.

The yard is strewn with yellow in a blast and Magnus can suddenly feel his heart beating, not like you do before you go to sleep, but like you do before heading into battle. But it's an undeserved rush, and not unlike the Hunger they fought for a century, it only seems to fuel the emptiness that has settled in Magnus and fills him with desperation for something more, something he'd be able to grasp.

"The real kind," Taako repeats, but this time the words have a different taste. "Tell you what, Mango – I think we're just two drunken idiots."

Magnus snorts. "I don't get drunk."

"Hey, dingus, I called myself an idiot trying to boost your spirits – you don't get to tell me what you are and what you aren't," Taako retorts. "Besides, look at you, Kate Winslet, you're all flushed."

Magnus reaches for his cheeks defensively. Taako catches his wrists before he gets there.

"So is it worth it for you?" he asks Magnus, their hands floating between them. "Remembering everything? Only to find it leaves more questions than answers?"

A soft breeze brushes past them. Magnus just feels so empty. He's willing to let anything fill that space just now.

The muffled blows of fireworks from below sound like corn popping.

"I don't think I know," Magnus says quietly.

Taako in response just presses Magnus's hands together and wraps one of his own around them. He holds them there while he drinks the rest of his champagne in one long sip, eyelashes fluttering. Then Taako sets his glass on the grass on its side, and with his now-free hand he cups Magnus's warm face. And  _ then _ Taako kisses him.

Taako tastes like champagne and strawberry lipgloss and his hand on Magnus’s cheek smells like fresh grass and Magnus can just catch a glimpse of his hair falling over his shoulder before it's over.

Funnily enough, there are no fireworks for that moment, only the hushed whisper of the wind. Magnus does not close his eyes, but when the kiss is done, he finds he's leaning forward while Taako pulls back, tucking that strand of wavy hair behind his pointy ear. After it, the world – or, the moon – keeps spinning. Davenport and Avi are still talking in the distance. A smooth wind still combs through the bed of grass, breaking up when hitting one of the domes. Everything is seemingly the same, even though Magnus feels like somebody just rang a bell the size of one of the Bureau’s spheres inside his brain.

And then Taako gets up and leaves Magnus on the grass, alone and feeling suddenly sober and so very confused.

Magnus can feel his ears growing hotter with the realization of what just happened, and a series of fireworks rises fittingly from the ground below in a multitude of explosions to greet him. He brings up two of his fingers to his lips and exhales slowly through his nose. He tastes like strawberries. The yard is washed with reds and yellows and pinks.

* * *

Magnus doesn't sleep that night. He sits alone in his room and watches as the fireworks grow scarcer, as the stars and the real moon beyond shift slowly, arching on the deep blue sky like someone is turning a lever. His lips feel tingly and heavy, so much so that Magnus isn't sure if it has to do with the components in Taako's lipgloss, but another thing that feels particularly heavy that night is his wedding ring, strung around his neck with a thin strip of leather, and – if we're already on the subject of things heavying on Magnus – his conscience is one pretty high up the list.

He slowly unbuttons and buttons back up his shirt, distractedly, all while the halo of the golden ring protrudes through the dull-cream fabric like a fossil under thin sand.

The reality of what he's done sinks slowly but gravely, and Magnus begins to feel like he's freefalling. He drops to his bed with his forearm over his eyes. Julia – oh, God,  _ Julia _ – he's betrayed the person he's loved more than anything in a moment of – drunken,  _ stupid _ weakness – he's thrown away everything he got from her just to feel full of something temporary to fix his loneliness.

Magnus let her go for just one moment but it was enough to lean into the kiss of a friend.

And Taako – Magnus doesn't even know what to  _ think _ about Taako – with his smeared strawberry lips and champagne breath and messy hair, with that little twinge in his sad doe eyes, Magnus feels 20 different things about Taako and he can't tell them apart – he is the first boy who's kissed him, and the first boy Magnus has kissed back – he is also the first friend to kiss him, and the first person he has kissed after his wife. He's a wizard that traveled with him through worlds for a hundred long years, some of them saved, some of them gone, and for none of them he's been anything more than a friend to Magnus.

But he is also Taako – outgoing, outspoken Taako, flirty, confident Taako, who also happened to be drunk on a few glasses of champagne, and who also seemed like he could use a sense of direction, and who's been through a lot the last few days – or the last century, depending on how you look at it. He's Taako who can't trust anyone at the moment, and yet chose to trust Magnus with a two-second kiss, and then chose to leave him and let him deal with the consequences of those two seconds for an entire night.

Magnus thinks and thinks but can never reach any solid conclusion on anything, and just ends up even more lost than before. Eventually, he falls asleep, boots still on, shirt half-unbuttoned.

* * *

In the morning it's easy to think it's been all a dream: Magnus rushes to the training room the moment he wakes up, his sleep not lasting very much, and his head feeling akin to a drum getting banged. He fights a particularly skilled punching bag, skilled in that it, at a moment of distraction, bounces back Magnus-wards and punches him square in the face. It's not enough to throw him back, but it's enough to leave Magnus's nose red, even after he leaves the training room frustrated. When he sees Carey and Killian making their way to the same room on his way out, Magnus avoids them and takes a different route. He doesn't feel up to talking to anyone today.

After showering, Magnus reluctantly goes to the Bureau's food hall, before anyone else is there, just to sit and wait quietly. Alone. He thinks he may have finally found some peace of mind, but soon that peace turns into Magnus bouncing his leg and drawing circles on the empty table, and he tries desperately to keep the dam in his head from splitting open, but when he stops concentrating on distracting himself, for even just a moment, the thought is there, clear as day:

Taako kissed him yesterday. Taako, his teammate. Taako, obnoxiously impossible. Taako, whose name tastes different now in Magnus's mind, like strawberries and champagne and fireworks. No matter how much he tries to distract his memories away, to punch them out, to wash them down the drain, they flow and flow, on and on, a thousand clashing conclusions fizzling like electricity in his mind. Magnus wishes, pettily, that they were never there in the first place – that those three glasses he drank the previous night would have deleted them just as the Voidfish have done.

But nothing came of wishing like this. Magnus let his hand sink to his chest, tracing the outline of his wedding ring. Beneath it, his heart was pounding twice as hard, almost on cue for someone to pull the chair across from him.

"Is this seat taken?" Taako asks.

He's wearing his stupid smirk again, like nothing happened, but also fresh clothes and a neat braid pouring over his shoulder. When Magnus doesn't answer, he takes a seat. "Gee, Maggie, don't look  _ so _ happy to see me. You know I never wake up this early. Consider it a gift from my Fantasy Hangover."

Magnus keeps avoiding his eyes. Taako observes his nails for a second, then looks over at Magnus again. "Don't tell me you're  _ mad _ at me," he tells Magnus defensively.

"I'm not mad," Magnus answers reflexively, finally meeting his gaze. "I guess I'm just – confused."

"Oh," Taako says, falling back in his chair. "Ooh, boy. Well, Magnus, I don't know how to tell you this, but when I woke up today the slate has been  _ cleaned _ , my man. I don't remember shit about shit from yesterday, so if I said anything to upset you, blame Tipsy Taako and his big mouth. Although I'm sure whatever it is I did yesterday, I looked gorgeous doing it."

Magnus feels stuck between the chair and the empty dining table. His mind works quickly but inefficiently and he just ends up staring at Taako's boney shoulders, too unsure to look at his face.

"Well?" Taako pushes, nudging Magnus's leg beneath the table. He's still grinning. Of course he is. " _ Did _ I? Look gorgeous?"

Magnus raises his eyebrows in surprise. he feels his face heat up in a matter of seconds. "Sure," he says, throat dry.

Taako flips his braid to his back and says, "Hey, don't mention to anyone I said this because this doesn't sit well with my  _ répertoire _ , so to speak, but Tipsy Taako can be kind of a douche sometimes. Don't take me seriously!"

Taako lightly kicks him again, looking ever-pleased with himself. Then he gets up. "I'll go check on Merle if you don't mind. Grandpa drank his body weight yesterday by the looks of it. Gotta check he's still breathing."

Magnus swallows. "Yeah," he manages.

"Well, save me some eggs if I'm late for breakfast!" Taako calls as he leaves, straightening his puffy baby-blue shirt. "You know how I like 'em!"

And then he's gone, and Magnus is alone again, stretching one of his temples. "Super fucked-up scrambled," he tells himself, and he doesn't know if he's talking about the eggs.

* * *

Magnus lets his feet hang off the edge of the moon, all physics be damned. He is in the midst of trying to figure out the logic behind it when he realizes he's sitting on a fake moon fueled by arcana and that it's probably pointless.

It's noon, and the sun is just starting to descend from the apex of the sky, and Magnus occasionally has to wipe his forehead with the back of his hand. It's late spring – or early summer – and Magnus can't wrap his head around that one, either, because that means they've been serving the Bureau for over a year now, and knowing what he knows about his past, Magnus isn't sure if that's a long time or barely any.

He sighs, watching the tops of trees sway in the wind. Watching the black glass circle up ahead glint with every movement he makes. Watching the thin clouds go by lazily. It's serene, but Magnus feels it's a calm he hasn't earned. He presses against the ring beneath his shirt until he can feel its light imprint on his chest.

_ Be careful what you wish for _ is one thought that comes to mind – Magnus wanted the whole drunken ordeal to be forgotten, but not like this – not halfway, not with the condition that he remembers it. Which leaves him with a single question: what does he want?

Magnus swings his legs – back and forth, back and forth. What does he want? He doesn't know, and it drives him up the wall.

"What are you sulking about?" a voice asks, causing Magnus to effectively jump.

If he were to move just a little further he would be plummeting down – he scrambles for purchase, grabbing fistfuls of grass, and maybe helpfully, maybe unhelpfully – Taako places both of his hands on his shoulders.

"Jeez, Thelma, settle down," he says, and after a moment plops cross-legged next to Magnus.

"You scared me," Magnus says, finally letting go of the grass. It was true regardless of context or time.

"Well." Taako sighs with no intention of finishing.

He tucks his crossed legs closer to his body while Magnus watches him. "I just wanted to check on you," Taako says, and his voice is suddenly quiet, something that blends with the scenery before them. "You were being weird. I mean weirder than your usual…  _ wearing jorts in the winter _ brand of weird."

Magnus shrugs and hopes he's convincing. He avoids Taako's gaze, a task made easy by Taako looking over the view below.

"Also… I just thought you should know," Taako added, wistfully, and the casualty in which he said it was almost strained. "Since the whole, you know, remembering the past hundred years thing, Lup and I have been thinking of maybe taking some time off the Bureau. Catching up, you know, talking about life in an umbrella. Maybe blowing something up. Sibling stuff. If I'm being honest, I'm tired of still living in this dumb moonbase – like,  _ fuck _ , I have to wake up every day and look Lucretia in the face knowing it's another day I can be  _ not _ here. So yeah, Maggie – I'm gonzo."

Magnus blinks. He looks him over. "When are you coming back?" he asks him.

Taako snorts. "Didn't you hear what I just said? I'm out, baby – I'm not coming back to the Bureau, like, ever! I know you don't get it, Magnus, but frankly, my work here is done for all I care. Have Ango take over for me, or something. Taako's left the building!"

Taako catches his breath for a little. He tugs, rather awkwardly for Taako, at his braid, and lets his legs flutter off of the moon. Probably realizing he got winded up, he laughs a little. "That was more theatrical than Avi's pretend interest in boats – Davenport was too drunk to notice, but ooh boy could you feel that awkwardness radiate. Avi pretty much started to doze off standing before he got to talk about the flying pods. It was secondhand embarrassment for like a mile radius–" Taako stops himself abruptly at nothing in particular, but he starts chewing on his lower lip. He hangs back for a minute, looking like he might leap up and leave at any given moment, but he doesn't. Now he avoids Magnus's gaze.

Magnus doesn't think of it too much, looking away at the horizon. He is still trying to process the fact that Taako will be going away soon – how soon? And how long will it be before he can see him again? With him and Lup taking an unlimited time off, Barry probably somewhere around them, Davenport going exploring the seas, and Merle spending more and more time with his children, Magnus feels left behind. Even Lucretia is planning a complete rebranding and remodeling of the Bureau. How can he keep up? Is he supposed to keep up? Is he supposed to start looking for something better to do now?

It feels like a weight on his chest, and then it feels like a kick in the stomach when Magnus processes what Taako has just told him, and he's straightening up and turning to him, mouth open, when Taako sighs.

"Now, Magnus –" he says, but Magnus is already beyond that point.

"You  _ remembered? _ " he demands, watching Taako close his eyes and crook his mouth with another sigh.

"Of course I  _ remembered _ , dumbass," he admits, almost under his breath. "I was tipsy, Magnus, not shitfaced. I didn't black out from some mediocre champagne."

"Taako, you –" Magnus starts, then stops to collect himself, pressing his palms together as hard as he can. "You lied to me. To my  _ face _ . You kissed me, and you waltzed to bed, and then you lied to me about it. Why?"

Taako falls back on the grass and covers his face with his hands impatiently. "Why? You looked hopeless out there, Magnus, looking at the fireworks like you wanted one to land on your face. And I, your good,  _ considerate  _ friend Taako, saw this and thought under the influence of three tall glasses that it was a good idea to try and kiss it better. Then I went to sleep, because I thought that I did. Not that I owe you an explanation, Casanova."

Magnus huffs. "That makes no sense, Taako – why not just keep talking to me? You know, like a friend would? And why  _ lie _ about it?"

"Because," Taako says and perks up in one swift motion to look Magnus in the eye, "I knew you would be like  _ this _ ."

"Like what?" Magnus throws his hands in the air.

"Like that!" Taako gestures all over Magnus. "Freaking out and – making it weird."

Magnus furrows his brow. "You kissed  _ me _ , Taako."

"Yeah, and I'm kind of regretting it, my guy." he crosses his arms and turns his face away. "Besides, why do you care so much? It was only a kiss. It was  _ just _ a kiss."

Magnus doesn't answer for a beat. He moves just a little away from Taako. Why does he care? The answer finds its way out of his mouth before it sinks in his mind.

"It wasn't  _ just a kiss _ ," he says, "to me."

Taako looks at him from the corner of his eye, collecting one knee, and then the other, and then getting up and brushing stray grass blades. "Well then," he says, matter-of-factly, "there's your problem."

And just like that, Taako leaves Magnus alone on the grass again.

* * *

For dinner, Taako takes a sphere and blasts off to some tavern or other to meet with Ren, which Magnus only hears about when he finds only Merle at the dinner table. He doesn’t know if it’s an excuse or not. He doesn’t know if he even cares to know.

Merle doesn’t budge, but Magnus can tell that he can tell that something is wrong. They both eat quietly, save for when Merle says, “Eat your veggies, or I will,” but he says it softly, and Magnus suddenly marvels in the sudden realization that Merle is probably a great father. He even eats his vegetables, not that it makes him feel any better.

When the moon – the real one, that is – starts to rise, Magnus takes a solemn walk in the quad. His steps are small but heavy, and he is twirling his wedding ring as he goes.

His chest is sunk with guilt and remorse as he tries to picture Julia’s face – she’s smiling, in his mind. She’s always smiling. He tries to focus on the details, like the shape of her freckles on her face, or her shiny hair, or her perpetually red knuckles, but when he tries to fix his mind further than that, it’s like the memory slips between Magnus’s fingers. It’s been so long since he last saw her. The longing for her, for her guidance and her presence, is something already morphed by nostalgia and shadowed by Magnus’s selfishness. How can he miss her when he kissed Taako? How can he ever make up for it?

Even now, as he thinks of his wife’s fragile memory, his eyes look for a sphere in the darkening sky. He hates himself for it, but he wishes he could help it. Taako’s voice rings in his mind – ‘ _ it was just a kiss _ ’. And it was, wasn’t it? It wasn’t a confession of love, it wasn’t a satisfying conclusion to the last century, it couldn't be anything else when Magnus has to stay loyal to Julia, and Taako is leaving any day now. But it is more than that. It has to be more than that. A part of Magnus, a part he's ashamed of, a part he wishes he didn’t have, needs that to be true.

Eventually a sphere flies out, and after some time comes back again, and before Magnus knows it, he is waiting at the reception hall, fingers fidgeting. Avi sets the sphere in place and closes the open hatch to the base, but he leaves soon thereafter, giving Magnus a sturdy pat on the shoulder. It seems like everyone has something better to do except Magnus. Magnus just waits, hands clammy, heart poking at him.

Would Julia want this for him now?

The door to the sphere stays closed – one minute, then two, and an eternity later Magnus loses all patience and knocks on its door. The glass of it is tinted so that it’s visible to look outside from within, but almost impossible to look inside from out; coming as close as he can to the glass without smushing his face against it, Magnus can see – barely – the unmistakable outline of Taako in a ridiculous party outfit whose sparkles were visible even through the dark glass, his skinny arms crossed, his long legs prompted up against the front of the sphere, and his face in a stoic grimace, avoiding Magnus’s gaze.

“I can see you’re in there, Taako!” Magnus exclaims, pretty frustrated now.

“No, you can’t.” Taako is muffled, his voice slight like it’s coming from inside a balloon (well – is it?). “How do I fly this thing back out?” he wonders loudly, pulling and pushing the lever and earning a big eye roll from Magnus.

“Just let me talk to you.” Magnus lets his forehead fall on the glass with a blunt clunk.

Taako is still busy trying to get the sphere to move. “You can talk all you want while I figure this out – son of a bitch, who designed these things?”

“I meant what I said,” Magnus blurts, “It  _ did _ mean something to me. I wish it hadn’t, but it  _ did _ , and I – Taako, you’re the first person to kiss me after Julia.”

Taako laughs, but it’s a grim sort of laugh. He drops the lever. “Oh, no – don’t you dare lay that kind of weight on me, loverboy. We were drunk and you were moping – that’s it.”

Magnus steps away from the glass. Taako looks angry now – he looks like someone who’s been waiting to get angry for a long, long time now.

“Taako,” Magnus says, and in his voice is a soft surprise. “Is that it?”

Taako glares at him through the barrier in disbelief. “Uh, yeah, dingdong! I already said that!”

Magnus looks at him, but the Taako he sees is one he’s seen so long ago, surfing the sea on the beach world and showing off – baking cupcakes and spraying the remainder of his whipped cream can in his mouth – humming as he brushes his hair, straight out of the shower – making light shows out of magic in an abandoned world and waving at the seven of them.

Was he waving at the seven of them? Or has been Taako waving to him the entire time?

Magnus swallows. “Taako, why did you kiss me?” he asks solemnly.

Taako looks like he is about to cast Magic Missile at Magnus’s head. “Are you for – how many times do I have to spell this out for you, Magnus! We were –”

“– Drunk, I know,” Magnus says.

Taako blinks in disbelief. “Yeah. And you were –”

“– Upset. I understand,” Magnus continues.

“Then what  _ don’t  _ you understand?” Taako pulls his legs down and straightens up. “Which part can you  _ not  _ wrap your head around?”

“The part where you tell me that’s it,” Magnus says.

Taako pauses, and then shakes his head. “That’s it, Magnus. It was just a kiss.”

“Was it?”

“It was.”

“Are you sure?”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Magnus,  _ yes _ , I’m –”

“So why did you kiss me?”

Taako pauses again, then inhales sharply and shifts his jaw and balls his fists. “ _ Because _ – Magnus, you dumb son of a bitch –  _ you _ never did it for a hundred fucking years, so I thought  _ I _ might as well, since I’m blasting off into the sunset anyway!” he’s breathing hard, and his shimmering top reflects the light like shards of glass. “There! I said it! Will you let me fucking  _ be _ now? Jeez, will you fucking move aside so I don’t suffocate in this hamster ball?”

Magnus moves one more step back, but when the door rises, he’s already back where he was, and before Taako can say anything else, Magnus cups his face and says, “I’m going to kiss you now.”

And he does. Gently; with all his might. Magnus isn’t drunk or lonely when he does it – he’s here, awake, aware, drawing circles on Taako’s cheeks with his thumbs. And Taako kisses back. There’s no taste of strawberries this time, no scent of champagne, but with his eyes closed, like this, Magnus might just see fireworks.

“Now, why the fuck would you do that?” Taako whispers when they’ve separated again, eyes still closed.

"Because now," Magnus says, and he's grinning – "Now we're even."

Taako, being Taako, shuts him up with another kiss.

* * *

Magnus's legs tangle with Taako's – in empty Bureau halls, stumbling against doors, and then crashing on the cold grass outside. They hurry until they hit that grass – Taako leads the way while holding Magnus's hand, except for wherever he slows down or stops altogether and then Magnus has to kiss him some more.

"So stupid," Taako mumbles when only the sky is above them. "This is so stupid."

Magnus has his arm around Taako's shoulder, holding his hand. "How long?" he asks him.

"Wouldn't you like to know," Taako says, but he steals a little kiss on the corner of Magnus's mouth.

Magnus traces Taako's fingers with his own. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I mean, does it matter?" Taako asks. "Well, for one, we've been through a lot the last hundred years or so and by the time I understood – that maybe I didn't want to Mage Hand slap your stupid face and maybe I wanted to smooch it instead – and when we remembered again – oh, why do you even care."

"I care," Magnus assures. "Go on. Talk about how much Taako from TV wanted to woo me."

Taako shoves an elbow against Magnus's side, and Magnus pretends it hurt. "Idiot," Taako says. "Might as well try to woo a brick wall. You keep ruining my plans. I plan on being high above the paygrade of any lucky man who lays eyes on me, then you come along with your stupid wooden ducks and crafted chairs and –  _ vehicle proficiency _ . I plan on getting the hell out of dodge and then you ruin my lifelong spring break by doing – this. God, I really hate you, Magnus."

Magnus laughs. Then Taako laughs. And when the laughter dies out, they kiss one more time.

"Does that mean you're not going to leave forever?" Magnus asks in a hush.

"Oh, don't get me wrong, baby – I'm definitely going to pull a Houdini and spend some time with Lup," Taako says, squeezing the tips of Magnus's fingers. "But I think I'll – I think I'll maybe shuffle over to see that grand reopening everyone's been talking about. Yeah, why the fuck not? I just kissed the biggest idiot in the entire planar system. Maybe I'll come back to kiss him some more."

"Are you okay with this, though?" Taako asks after a beat of quiet. "You said you didn't – I mean, after your wife –"

Magnus touches the wedding ring beneath his shirt. Now he can feel Taako's hair spread over it, too. "She would want me to move on," he says eventually. "And if she's still… somewhere, out there – I think she's wanted this for me for a while. I don't know why, Taako, but I feel like everything about this has been a long time coming."

"Yeah, no shit," Taako says. "Do you know how many cycles Lup has had to hear about me pining for you? Like a middle-schooler? It's fucking embarrassing, honestly, Magnus."

Magnus thinks it's adorable. Silently, he vows he'll give Taako a kiss for every one of those cycles – starting right now.

* * *

The Bureau of Benevolence opens its doors two months later, and Magnus doesn’t really feel like he’s missing something, anymore. He still doesn’t know where he’s heading, but for the meantime, with a newer, better Bureau, with a mission to fix the world the Hunger has wrecked, and with Taako coming out at any moment from any of the hundreds of spheres landing all around him, Magnus feels like he’s got the general direction down.

Taako finally arrives, along with Lup and Barry, fashionably late – Magnus doesn’t hold that against him. After all, he came right in time for the fireworks – pinks and reds and yellows, everywhere.


End file.
